I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past week or so, mostly because I haven't been able to accomplish too much with this FMS flare up that is just being stubborn. I've also done a fair bit of designing and "soul" searching. I've come up with a plan and I'm going to try to put those plans into action. I don't want to say too much, but it could mean a fabulous change in my life.
Today I had a really great conversation with my mom about my creative arts, and how to parlay them into a career that I will love and will give me, not only a sense of purpose, but security, as well. My husband plans on retiring in about 3 years and I've been trying to figure out how I'll be picking up the slack. I know he won't completely stop working and his retirement plan is quite good, but I've had a career-shaped hole in my heart for a while. I've been really good at finding obstacles to my plans over the years. Of course, that's mainly because I try to do everything by myself. My mom and I put our heads together this morning during our regular phone session and came up with a few ideas and connections I have that would make this project seem not so out of reach. Now, I just have to sell my husband on the idea.
I have to say that reading Kaffe Fassett's "Quilts in Sweden" was partially responsible for this little kernel of inspiration. Fassett not only designs fabric and quilts, but also yarns and needlework. So, along with my quilting and the fabric I have on Spoonflower.com, I'm going to start working on a line of clothing and accessories using my own fabric designs. I looked at some fashion trend reports, and what I've got in mind for my designs is right on target for the colors and prints they're forecasting all the way into 2014. That was terribly exciting for me to see. Usually I come up with an idea and a week later it's being released by someone who had been putting those ideas into action for the last year or so. This time, I'm right on trend with what the future is bringing. I really don't believe in fate or signs, but I'm sure those that do would tell me that this is a door from which someone is calling me to enter. So, I'm being called. So, sue me. (No, don't. I haven't got any money!)
I'm going to continue with this blog, though it may now include things not related to quilting. On the other hand, designing quilts is a decent sized part of what I'm envisioning doing, so for the quilting fans out there, never fear. I'm just adding some other stuff to that which I do. Because I'm just not busy enough. (Yeah. That was, indeed, sarcasm.)
I have two, possibly three theatrical productions coming up in the following year. I intend to keep those commitments. I also want to go back to school, one class at a time, since that's what we can afford at the moment. I'm prepping to sign up for a math class <shudder> as I write this. I want to get my degree somehow. This will help me with my plans. I also want to see if I can get into a pattern making class. I know how to take an existing pattern and create what I need. I can also cut fabric without a pattern and create what I need, but making a pattern from scratch is something I have NO idea how to do, particularly if it's very detailed.
I'm ready for a change. I have been for quite a while, I just didn't know what to change, exactly, and I've spent a lot of time and energy on what was probably not the right path for me. I've been pushing back this other idea because, I don't know, maybe I thought I couldn't or that no one would like it. I'm also very aware of my age. I keep telling myself I'm not good enough. But I am. And, gosh darn it, people like me. And they like what I do. I'm going to listen to them for awhile instead of just listening to my inner critic (who is really loud and obnoxious, by the way). I'm also going to ask for help. I've never wanted to ask for help. I'm afraid people will think that's the only reason I want them around. But frankly, I wouldn't want you around if I didn't genuinely like you. I don't want to surround myself with people I can't stand simply because of how many connections they have, or money, or whatever. If you're an asshole, I don't want to work with you, either. That's something I just have to get over. I hate the idea of imposing myself on someone. I cringe at the thought. So, if you happen to be someone I ask, know that it's because you rock. You rock a lot.
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