On the road again...

I could really wait a few days to get on the road again...

But we're supposed to go up to one of my husband's customers lake property with the RV and camp out while he does some work on their A/C. This was sort of a last minute thing I wasn't really prepared for. I was all set for that trip to the Oshkosh Air Show last weekend, but I'm not quite ready to take off a second weekend in a row. I've made so much progress downstairs and I don't want to lose momentum. It literally took me years to get this far, I don't want to fall back now.

On the other hand, I have my medication, so perhaps I don't have to worry about losing momentum while I'm gone. Hmmm... I guess that'll be my experiment. I didn't lose any even though we were gone last weekend. Wow. That's pretty cool. I have focus! Holy crap! Who knew?

I went through some more pictures taken from magazines (2006) and tossed what I didn't like any more. Some of it was still really me, though. I only have one grocery bag of recycling out of it, and, frankly, I could pack it down a bit and make room for more. 

I've added to the bin of fabric I'm going to sell on etsy. I have some lovely fabric, but I've had it for a while and still haven't done anything with it. I had such plans for it. But I really want to make clothes out of my own fabric designs now. For some things I'll have to buy other fabric. For example, wool, leather, suede. Trims. Denim. Although Spoonflower does have cotton twill, which is denim, basically. It's just that theirs is solid white. And I did order a swatch book of the different fabrics they carry so I can see how heavy it is. It's supposed to be suitable for upholstery, so it should work for jeans. That was one of my rewards for doing all the cleaning. That and a color chart that shows how the various colors look printed on the fabric. Since my Harriet Pink was absolutely not the right color, I can look at the chart and use the Pantone color that is closest to the look for which I was going.

I found some forest green silk I had purchased when I lived in New York. It's gorgeous, but when I hold it up to my skin, I look like I was out partying for an entire month. Which is odd. That's "supposed to be" one of my "Autumn" colors. Yeah, that Color Me Beautiful stuff is so out of date any more. It's so.... 80s. So Last Century. Technically, according to my Autumn coloring, I'm never to wear fuchsia, but I do, and I love it, so, meh. 

I have another storage bin ready for charity. I got rid of some of my crafting supplies that I don't use. Rubber stamps, mostly. I kept a few of my favorites, but I don't really make cards or collage art (though collage art does inspire quite a lot of my design work). It's not as painful as I kept imagining it would be. I mean, I would really go into a panicky despair whenever I thought of getting rid of some of that stuff. But I'm filling up the truck repeatedly to go to charity and keeping the things that really speak to me. I've even gotten rid of some things to which I had, for whatever reason, thought I had some special sentimental connection. Man, I held on to some weird shit. No lie. I kept the wood we took up when we replaced the flooring in the front of the house because I was sure I could make something with it. Yeeeah-no. 

So, for this weekend, I'll take along my Grandma's Flower Garden pieces to keep going on that. The baby shower is in three weeks. I won't be anywhere near done by then, but I can take along pictures of what I've done thus far and show my niece. 

That's another thing; it used to be that if I discovered I couldn't finish a project that I had started in time for whatever deadline, I'd quit. I'd just scrap the whole project and turn it into a UFO (Un-Finished Object). This is, presumably, something that happens quite a lot with creative people, because they came up with that term for it. On the one hand, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. On the other, what does that say about artists? I mean, people actually organize UFO parties, where they can exchange their unfinished projects for someone else's they think they might like to complete or use for parts. There's a whole UFO culture out there that doesn't go out to look at the night sky, but stays indoors and hunkers down with someone else's incomplete art. Like an adopted child or something. I find that both weird and refreshing. It's creepy to me, in a way. But I like creepy things, so I guess that's alright.

Well, time to get ready for this weekend. Gotta hit the credit union, the grocery store, the showers. Have a fantastic weekend and may you find the motivation to get done that which you have been avoiding.

Getting personal...

I can't believe how much I've gotten done. Unfortunately, by the end of the day yesterday I had managed to give myself a migraine and went to bed rather early. I had intended on working until late, but that just wasn't happening. 

However, I managed to get the tables switched around and I've begun sorting some more of the fabric and supplies I intend to keep. I've also started going through one of my downstairs cupboards and sorting the books and magazines that were in there. Which ones are true to my vision, which ones will make some thrift store shopper squeal with delight... that style of thing.

I think I've managed to get something stuck in each of my two vacuum cleaners and will have to have my husband bring in some of the tools from his work truck to dissect them and remove the offending chunks of whatever it is. I'm not looking forward to that. I know for a fact I sucked up some spider egg sacks. <erp> Stupid arachnophobia!

I had some things sitting in my basement for ages waiting to be laundered, but since they aren't things I use frequently, I always did the more necessary items first. I got all of it done! The only thing left is the current laundry and a sleeping bag that had been packed away in my cupboard. I even wore a pair of silk pajamas I purchased months ago to bed last night. I got them at a thrift store in the Halloween department, and they've just been sitting down there waiting for the delicate cycle. Thrifty hint: Always wash thrift store clothes before wearing. I may wash my stuff before it goes to charity, but not everyone does. <shudder>

I now have four more boxes of stuff for charity and one that's about half-way full. I can't begin to tell you how awesome it feels to get rid of this stuff. I guess I'll have to admit that I am some sort of hoarder. Luckily, I found a doctor who finally gave me a proper diagnosis (ADD) and the right medication. I had to do an awful lot of calling around and our insurance blows when it comes to mental health treatment. Not to get on a soapbox, but if we would spend more time and money on mental health issues, we wouldn't have things like the Colorado Theater shooting. That's my humble opinion.

But back to the studio...

I am nervous about really digging into my stuff. Partially because of the spiders, but mostly because I look at some of the stuff and wonder what I was thinking. Then I get upset with myself for spending the money on something I never used, am never going to use, and will be getting rid of momentarily. Then I get upset at myself for wasting so much time and energy on the stuff I never did/will never do. Then I get all sentimental about things. It's no wonder people who hoard don't want to get rid of their stuff. It's emotional. It's depressing. At times it's even gut-wrenching (and I'm not just talking about the spiders). It's not a very comfortable place to be. Well, not while you're doing it. I have to remind myself that I'm finding my authenticity. I go downstairs and look at how far I've come, and I'm really proud of what I've accomplished already. If I took a picture of it the way it is now, I'm sure there are those of you who would say, "Um, that's the before picture, right?" Hey, I had a lot of crap. I didn't take any before pictures. But I have posted the pics of my loads of stuff going to charity and that should give you a pretty good idea of what the "before" was like. Some of that came from the garage, but still. Lots o' stuff! That way, when I get around to posting the after pics, you can be all impressed. 

I sometimes have to stop going through everything to catch my breath. I sometimes feel like I'm on the verge of crying. I haven't broken down, yet. I'm sure at some point I will. I've gotten very sad about a few things, but haven't been brought to tears over them. A couple of things I found in the garage were close. Like the bio in the program I found from the last show I did in my hometown before leaving for New York City "to make it on Broadway." Or the pictures of little girls in my "Someday" folder. Yeah, that tripped up my depression for a couple of days. I didn't do anything for fear of finding more so-called "failures". On the other hand, I found things like this:

Yep, that's me in the middle with the stellar horns!

It's one of the things that I found that remind me of who I really am. A performer who's also really good at costuming. Not only did I portray Titania, but I also designed and single-handedly built all of the costumes for this production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The director had originally called me to just do the costumes but at the time, I really wanted to focus on my acting. When the actress playing Titania couldn't do the show, he called me back and asked if I'd do both. Obviously, I did. I'm really proud of that head piece and all the costumes I did for that show. The kids in the show (there were only 3 adults in the cast, 4 if you could the 18 year old high schooler) were really great, even if they did underestimate themselves and their ability to do Shakespeare. I made sure they got over that in a hurry.

I do love theatre. I love spectacle. I love history and fashion. I love fabric. I love designing. I love fantasy. Now, I'm trying to make that fantasy a reality. I'm not sure how that's going to happen, but I know it will.

Smooth as a baby's...

I love my friend, Angela. She's an actress I've worked with and she's also an aesthetician. She just ripped the hair out of my face. She's good at it, and she really enjoys the work. She's very inspirational to me. She and I have a lot on common. I have the fibromyalgia, she has RA. We both love being on stage, but both need something else to support ourselves. We both want to really enjoy that "other" thing we do, whatever it may be. She really enjoys working with people's skin to make it beautiful. I like to put beautiful clothes on their skin. Angela is one of those people I talked about the other day for whom I would do just about anything. Nothing illegal, you understand, but if she ever needed blood or a kidney and I was a match, I'd do it. If you're in the Twin Cities and you need your chin waxed or your brows shaped or a nice, deep facial cleansing, go see Angela Walberg. I'll put you in touch with her. Seriously.

Okay, now onto the home front. Going through all my stuff has been looming over me for... years. I'm not even kidding. Over the last couple of weeks I've gone through so much stuff, and I'm not even halfway there yet! I'm on medication, I'll freely admit that. Most creative people are or should be, frankly. I've only been on the new stuff for 5 weeks and I've accomplished more in those 5 weeks than I have in the last 5 years. Longer, even. I still had a few maternity clothes in the garage (my youngest son is 6). I've just been avoiding it. I've now been through a dozen or more boxes (several loads of laundry) and not only did I take over all that stuff to charity last Saturday, but I now have 6 more grocery bags and a storage basket of clothes (mostly the boys' baby things, but some of mine, too), toys, and brick-a-brack to take over to the thrift store.

Everyone needs to purge now and then. This is probably the biggest purge I've ever done in my life. I have to say, it feels pretty damn good. I have my current projects sitting on the sidelines waiting patiently for me to get through this. Though I do have my hand sewing with the hexagons by my recliner and pick that up during the evening news. My Christmas tree blocks are under way, but I'm not feeling any great pressure to do it. I'm happy knowing that, once I get this big purge out of the way, not only will I be able to pick up where I left off on those projects, but I'll have more room, better organization, and more freedom. Less chaos. That's the real goal, right there. 

Not only that, but if I aim to proceed with designing my clothing line, I'm going to need that space. Last weekend I made 14 sketches, I figured out which type of fabric the pieces should be, but I have yet to figure out how much total fabric I'll need. I'll finish this purging business first. It needs to happen before my mind can be clear enough to focus on a clothing line. Also, clearing up my sewing space will show my husband that I'm pretty darned serious about pursuing the dream. More serious that I've probably ever been about anything.

Speaking of designing, I have two new collections now available on Spoonflower. Jewel Box, http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/3982 which is, as the name suggests, full of jewel inspired designs and photos,  and Tropical_10, http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/17621, which is all designs that were inspired by my husband's love of Hawaiian shirts and this year being our 10th anniversary. The photos used were taken during some of our vacations over the years.