The Long Summer...

I suppose I'm like a lot of people when I say I didn't get done all the things I wanted to accomplish over the Summer months. Blogging regularly, for instance. Setting up my design studio, for example. Exercising... oh, the list goes on. 

I have a perfectly legitimate reason. I have developed some sort of strange neurological... oh, let's call it "disruption". In a few days, I'll be heading to Mayo Clinic/Hospital in Rochester, MN for some testing. Basically, what has been happening to me since 3rd May are muscle spams not unlike what one might see with MS - Multiple Sclerosis. However, since there aren't MS specialists in my immediate area and I haven't been able to get a definitive diagnosis from local neurosurgeons, I'm venturing to Mayo to see if anyone there can figure out what is going on. I've already had several MRIs over the Summer and did a couple nights in hospital mid-May, but no conclusions have been made as to what is making my hands, feet, face, and occasionally even my back, twist into stiff contortions at their own whim. 

It doesn't always hurt, sometimes the "curling" is simply a neutral position (often in a sort of "Rock on!" heavy metal devil horns way, though sometimes I have to apologise for inadvertently flipping the bird), but there are times when the pain is excruciating and exhausting. Most of the time, however, it looks worse than it feels, though it does put a damper on a lot of activities. For example, I haven't used the hunt-n-peck method of typing since high school, but I'm getting pretty good at it!

I've been trying to keep positive over the last few months. I mean, we know it's not cancer. We know I have a stagnant lesion on the right side of my thalamus. We don't know why I'm having these spams on an almost daily basis. They started when I was in a fairly stressful situation after a build up of several other stressful situations, but I've been under worse stress in my lifetime, so why now and why this particular physical reaction? 

As you can imagine, the not knowing is really bothering me and, by extension, my family and friends. I can count myself fortunate that I do have a good support group around me. I have been able to go on our family camping trips. I have been able to work on a few sewing projects (yep, still picking away at that baby quilt). I've even managed to finish a few things (nope, not that baby quilt). I went to my 25th high school class reunion and danced the night away and I even took my boys to the opening day of the MN State Fair.

But as I get closer to my Mayo appointment(s), my trepidation increases. It doesn't help that I'm anticipating a spinal tap, and not the fun, Michael McKean in Spandex variety. I'm not even sure how long I'll be there. My only consolation (outside of family and friends) is the notion that I'll soon have a name for whatever this is (besides "that little effer in my brain") and can then plan a course of healing/management. A plan that moves forward, for no matter how hard I've tried to keep things going as normally as possible, the unknown lurks large and, frankly, has held me from doing a few of the things I'd ordinarily jump into without a second thought. I've been able to push beyond my fibromyalgia for performances (then be absolutely spent afterward), but the spams are different. I can't seem to "mind over matter" them the way I could with fibro flare-ups and I there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to when they'll hit.

Anyway, I'll keep on truckin' as usual, and hopefully it won't be too long before you hear from me again. Next time with good news.

The etsy site is up!

I finally got my poop in a group long enough to publish a few items in my etsy store. www.etsy.com/tequiladiamonds is now open for business! I didn't post any pix here because I want you to go to the store!

I'm going to confess, I'm super nervous about it. Whenever you do something creative, you worry about what other people are going to think of it. If you don't, you need to talk to a doctor about that. However, I got over that hurdle and I'm continuing to add to my inventory of things I can make and put into the shop. Home business is underway!

Today happens to be beautiful and sunny, so I'm going to take full advantage of that and go outside. It was snowing a bit this morning, and I was starting to feel pretty sorry for myself that I hadn't seen the sun in a while. I'm going to go fix that situation. Have an amazing day, and don't stand in your own way!

I'm Baaaaack!

Yeah. I had a busy winter. Between school, holidays, and a production of Cabaret, I lost track of a lot.
One thing I decided was to not go back to school. It'd take too long at the rate I was going. Not that I didn't do well (I aced Textiles) or didn't like it (who doesn't love to learn new stuff?), but I simply can't afford to go full time and, since I was starting over with a new degree, going one class at a time would get me done in about 20 years. Please. I got sh*it ta do.
I also put myself on self-imposed semi-retirement from the stage. If I'm going to do this other thing (I'll get to that soon) I need to take time away from performing. Cabaret was particularly physically demanding as well. I would have a dance rehearsal one night and then spend the next day in bed from the pain and fatigue of the Fibro. It's fortunate that I don't have a day job because a lot of cast mates got sick, but I managed to not get sick at all. I think a lot of that is due to my being able to rest during the day.
But now I'm getting restless. I'm anxious to get started on the Next Big Thing.

Tequila Diamonds.
I've done a lot of prep work, mostly R&D and some massive soul-searching trying to figure out how I want to move forward. What is my purpose? My Mission Statement? One thing I know is that I want to take one thing, and make something totally unexpected from that thing. That's really the underlying philosophy to Tequila Diamonds. Making the ordinary extraordinary.
I've narrowed it down to a few items (comparatively few, I should clarify). I have the fabric line, I used some of those images and made some items on Zazzle (jewelry, stuff like that). I even sold a Happy Harriet tee-shirt!
Anyway, I've set up a few goals. I've taken pix of some things I've already made. I'm going to set up the etsy site in March. My hope is to use the money from those items to fund my new fashion line made from my fabric designs.
I've sketched and colored, manipulated fabric and practiced my stitching. I'm going to be working as a stitcher on the next production going up at Bloomington Civic Theatre (where I just did Cabaret), which will provide more of a learning environment than going to school. It'll also pay a little bit, so I can put that toward supplies.

So, yeah, not a lot of quilting going on. I'm still pecking away at the hand sewn quilt I've been working on for my great-niece, but no new quilting projects have been started or even thought about for the moment. If the quilting was why you were reading, I'm afraid the future posts will be disappointing. However, if exploring creative outlets and starting a creative business is something you're interested in, stay on dah boat!

stupid link...

Okay, on my last posting the link to my Spoonflower page didn't work. I'ma try again...

Tequila Diamonds

Let me know if this one works, 'k? Bye! Muchas smoochas....

real quick-like...

Here's a link to my Spoonflower shop.

Tequila Diamonds Spoonflower Shop

Please go visit and get inspired to make something from one of my fabric collections. They're even offering wallpaper! Be aware that I have not approved all of my designs for use as a wallpaper. In fact, I have some public designs that are not yet for sale but will be in the near future. I'm such a tease.

On the other hand, I have purchased some yardage of a fabric that I intend to keep private and use for my clothing line. I'm almost done with the first dress. I just need to hem that baby and I'll show it off in class tomorrow! I'll post pix of it, too, I'm sure...

Yesterday was the Mid-term exam for class and I think I did alright. I know I'm currently getting an "A", so I'm not too worried. I'm pretty much the Hermione Granger of Textiles 1433. Can't help it. I find the subject matter interesting. I also turned in my first term paper regarding the labeling of "green" fabrics. I hope that one came out alright. I'm never sure about papers. I tend to use big words and I'm afraid they'll think I'm being pretentious. I just like to write well and use the lexicon to my fullest capabilities. Gee whiz!

I have nearly all the additional hexies for the baby quilt cut. I had to run out for some additional fabric but found some that matches what I already have. I thought about intentionally choosing a slightly different shade, but went with the match. Baby Claire was born 11-3-12 at 12:03 a.m. My goal is to have the top done by Thanksgiving and the full quilt by Christmas. Not a lot of time, so I'm going to get off the computer and sew!

Happy creating!

I won an award!

For being the world's laziest blogger. For real. I have thought about it nearly every day, but getting to the computer was hardly on the reality agenda.

First off, school is amazing. I should say "class", because I'm only taking the one, but I'm really enjoying it and have met some truly awesome people. I was having a hard time downloading my textbook, but I finally got it to work this weekend and have been catching up on my homework. Luckily, most of our work is done in class.

Baby still isn't here, which is good, because the blanket is no where near done. However, I did decide how I was going to connect the flowers and have been working away at that.

Here are step-by-step photos of the process by which I prepare the fabric for making Grandma's Flower Garden.

I try to start at the edge of the paper. I always manage to get off center, though. Fortunately, it's not a terribly big deal if I do. You'll see why later.

I use the inside of one of my templates as a guide. 

Make a full page of hexagons. Then simply cut them out. I usually cut them into ziggy-zaggy strips then cut the cross lines. Seems to go pretty quickly. You can even use the ones that have wonky ends (see the left edge above) if you feel good about your basting skills.

Then I use one of them as a guide to make a cardboard template to use on the fabric.  I've made a quarter inch seam allowance. The cardboard sheets that come inside fat quarters are really handy for this (and a thrifty re-use, too!).

I used a white washable fabric pencil to trace the shapes onto the fabric.

I used my rotary cutter and a ruler to first cut all the diagonal lines, then the the connecting lines...

...which made this cutting process quick as well.

I counted out the number of fabric hexagons and gathered enough freezer paper hexagons to go with them and headed to the ironing board.

The nice thing about freezer paper is that if it irons on crookedly... 

...you can peel it off and try again.

I've found that, if I lay out the pieces thusly, the ironing on of the freezer paper goes rather quickly.

In my next blog, I'll show you my quick basting stitches. I can really tell with which pieces I started out, because the basting stitches are all ferkucht.

News!!!

Once I get into production of a show, the writing of the blog pretty much shuts down, so I apologize.

That said, I have one weekend left of Guards! Guards! and then a weekend off, and then.... (here comes the really awesome news!)

I'm going back to school!

I'm going to the Art Institutes International of Minnesota in their Fashion Design program. I still have to wrap up a placement exam and we're still waiting for all my transcripts from the other schools I've attended, so I can't register for class just yet, but I'll start on October 1st. I'm only going to take one class at a time for the moment, it'll be easier to pay for and because of my theatre schedule through July of '13. I don't want to overload myself right away. Perhaps when I'm done with the show in July I'll see about adding a class or going full time.

I've wanted to go back and get my degree (in Theatre Arts) but I'd have to either go back to La Crosse, WI and go there or start all over with a different program. Why? Because I have basically every credit in my major field of study completed and hardly any of my core curriculum done. Whichever school I would be attending locally, I'd have to take the majority of program-related courses where I plan to graduate. That would mean retaking (and paying for) a crap-ton of classes I've already passed. Even if I decided to switch from a performance major to a technical major.

So, I looked into art school. There aren't too many design schools here in the Minneapolis area with a fashion design program, but Ai just started one last year. They also have a film production major, so I'll still be hanging out with and making connections with people in my industry and I'll be able to learn those design skills that simply aren't taught in your basic theatre classes. Or they are, but not in any great detail.

I'm still working on my niece's baby blanket and I'm going to set up a time to take photos of my progress and how I do the preparation. I had wanted to make a video, but I don't really have a location that'll work for that, so I'll just take photos so I can stop putting it off.

That's the exciting news du jour! 

whew!

Well, I have made an enormous dent in the basement! I was expecting my stepdaughter and her boyfriend this weekend, but because of some circumstances beyond our control, they won't be able to visit. On the one hand, darn it, we were looking forward to the visit (not to mention they'd be taking the rest of her crap back home with them) on the other, I don't have to be in quite such a rush. It was pretty overwhelming. 

I've also been working on the play I'm in, a stage adaptation of Terry Pratchett's fantasy novel, "Guards! Guards!" I'm playing the Librarian of the Wizard's University. There had been a magical explosion at the U one day and it turned him into an orangutan. He decided he liked being an ape, and has never been turned back into a human. It's a very physically demanding role, but one that has been more fun than I could have predicted. I've also gone down a size since we started rehearsals at the end of July. When you spend most of your evening squatting, your thighs get nice and trim!

Unfortunately, this particular theatre company has no budget. I'm making my own orangutan costume, which is fun, but it's a lot of work. They tried to find some costume feet and hands for me, but my latex allergy reared its ugly head within moments of me trying them on. I do have some pictures which I will post soon. I'm just not on my regular computer at this moment to get them. Hmmm... There's that costuming thing again...

I went to my niece's baby shower and they really liked my gift. What I did was wrap the completed hexagon flowers and made her give them back to me at the end of the day. I've finished one more flower and started another. Once the show opens, I'll be able to get back to work on it in earnest. 

One thing I plan on doing as part of getting back to work on the Grandma's Flower Garden quilt is to show how I prepare the hexagons. I'm hoping to film this so I can add video to this blog. We shall see what we shall see... 

I've also been looking at how my basement is currently laid out and what doesn't work (most of it) and what does (hardly anything) for a design studio. I've been sketching and measuring and plotting and stewing. It's got my head spinning most of the time, lately. I'm a glutton for punishment. I'd really like to not spend a bunch of money to set this up. I already spent almost $500 having the old furniture and some other crap removed. It was totally worth it, though. I had to call 1-800-Got-Junk, but it was so worth every penny. I've also made several trips to the thrift store - to drop off stuff, not buy anything- and I now have room to organize the things I do want to keep. I'm really no where near done, but the progress that has been made is huge. My mom is coming to visit next week for the opening night of the play and she's going to be so surprised! I've been telling her what I'm doing, but she hasn't been able to come up to actually see with her own eyes. I'm pretty excited! I'm getting closer to having a home business!

Big changes behind, big plans ahead!

Hey, I really like camping!

I feel kind of bad for having not wanted to go camping last weekend, but it was really relaxing and refreshing. 

I was really inspired by all the colors around me. Vivid greens and blues of the trees and the lake, sun-bleached stones and wood. Everything has a special sparkle in the woods. 

I went fishing with my guys and actually caught the first "keeper" of the weekend. The iridescence of the fish is amazing, the sun glittering on the water is, dare I say it, thrilling. Also sunburn-inducing. Note to self: Even thought it's early in the day and you think you'll be back before you're too exposed, put the dang SPF on.

For the first time in ages, and I do mean AGES, I felt relaxed. Calm. Serene. I discovered I'm pretty good at making a campfire. I can bait my own hook (I'm still working on the removal of fish from said hook). I can drive a boat. Last weekend was full of discovery. I did things I've never done before. I even removed a clam from its shell and caught a beautiful Sunfish using it as bait. Of course, the shell is beautiful inside. 

I took photos of textures you don't always see or notice in the city. I've been using them as the basis for some fabric designs. One I'm especially proud of is of some lichens. I played around in photoshop and the effect is one of watercolor impressionism. Like a Monet. I began playing around with pixelation, color fades, adding and subtracting elements. 

I also began to think that the campsite (on Lake Peavey) would be a really beautiful place to photograph my products. We're going back up this weekend, so I'll have a talk with the owners and see if they're cool with that (and I don't know why they wouldn't be). 

I also designed a line of star fabrics for next summer. I normally hate the star shape. It has become trite, in my humble opinion. But I'm hoping my designs will have enough of a spin on the oft misused geometric shape to make it seem exciting. I also based the different color-ways on different American cities. So it's still "All-American" <eye roll>. That part makes me cringe. Not that I'm not patriotic. I'm very much so. I just don't like how some people use that term. 

Anyway...

I really used this weekend to soak in the beauty of nature and my family and to meet new people. I accomplished that and much more. I even got a couple of flowers done for the baby quilt. Then I went off on my design tangent in my journal. Well, that, and I didn't want them to smell like campfire. I love to sit on the smokey side and get the smell in my clothes, but I don't think I should present a gift that smells like campfire. Though nothing would make me prouder than to have my great-niece wrapped up in the blankie I made for her while she's sitting at the fire pit in my sister's backyard.

On the road again...

I could really wait a few days to get on the road again...

But we're supposed to go up to one of my husband's customers lake property with the RV and camp out while he does some work on their A/C. This was sort of a last minute thing I wasn't really prepared for. I was all set for that trip to the Oshkosh Air Show last weekend, but I'm not quite ready to take off a second weekend in a row. I've made so much progress downstairs and I don't want to lose momentum. It literally took me years to get this far, I don't want to fall back now.

On the other hand, I have my medication, so perhaps I don't have to worry about losing momentum while I'm gone. Hmmm... I guess that'll be my experiment. I didn't lose any even though we were gone last weekend. Wow. That's pretty cool. I have focus! Holy crap! Who knew?

I went through some more pictures taken from magazines (2006) and tossed what I didn't like any more. Some of it was still really me, though. I only have one grocery bag of recycling out of it, and, frankly, I could pack it down a bit and make room for more. 

I've added to the bin of fabric I'm going to sell on etsy. I have some lovely fabric, but I've had it for a while and still haven't done anything with it. I had such plans for it. But I really want to make clothes out of my own fabric designs now. For some things I'll have to buy other fabric. For example, wool, leather, suede. Trims. Denim. Although Spoonflower does have cotton twill, which is denim, basically. It's just that theirs is solid white. And I did order a swatch book of the different fabrics they carry so I can see how heavy it is. It's supposed to be suitable for upholstery, so it should work for jeans. That was one of my rewards for doing all the cleaning. That and a color chart that shows how the various colors look printed on the fabric. Since my Harriet Pink was absolutely not the right color, I can look at the chart and use the Pantone color that is closest to the look for which I was going.

I found some forest green silk I had purchased when I lived in New York. It's gorgeous, but when I hold it up to my skin, I look like I was out partying for an entire month. Which is odd. That's "supposed to be" one of my "Autumn" colors. Yeah, that Color Me Beautiful stuff is so out of date any more. It's so.... 80s. So Last Century. Technically, according to my Autumn coloring, I'm never to wear fuchsia, but I do, and I love it, so, meh. 

I have another storage bin ready for charity. I got rid of some of my crafting supplies that I don't use. Rubber stamps, mostly. I kept a few of my favorites, but I don't really make cards or collage art (though collage art does inspire quite a lot of my design work). It's not as painful as I kept imagining it would be. I mean, I would really go into a panicky despair whenever I thought of getting rid of some of that stuff. But I'm filling up the truck repeatedly to go to charity and keeping the things that really speak to me. I've even gotten rid of some things to which I had, for whatever reason, thought I had some special sentimental connection. Man, I held on to some weird shit. No lie. I kept the wood we took up when we replaced the flooring in the front of the house because I was sure I could make something with it. Yeeeah-no. 

So, for this weekend, I'll take along my Grandma's Flower Garden pieces to keep going on that. The baby shower is in three weeks. I won't be anywhere near done by then, but I can take along pictures of what I've done thus far and show my niece. 

That's another thing; it used to be that if I discovered I couldn't finish a project that I had started in time for whatever deadline, I'd quit. I'd just scrap the whole project and turn it into a UFO (Un-Finished Object). This is, presumably, something that happens quite a lot with creative people, because they came up with that term for it. On the one hand, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. On the other, what does that say about artists? I mean, people actually organize UFO parties, where they can exchange their unfinished projects for someone else's they think they might like to complete or use for parts. There's a whole UFO culture out there that doesn't go out to look at the night sky, but stays indoors and hunkers down with someone else's incomplete art. Like an adopted child or something. I find that both weird and refreshing. It's creepy to me, in a way. But I like creepy things, so I guess that's alright.

Well, time to get ready for this weekend. Gotta hit the credit union, the grocery store, the showers. Have a fantastic weekend and may you find the motivation to get done that which you have been avoiding.

Getting personal...

I can't believe how much I've gotten done. Unfortunately, by the end of the day yesterday I had managed to give myself a migraine and went to bed rather early. I had intended on working until late, but that just wasn't happening. 

However, I managed to get the tables switched around and I've begun sorting some more of the fabric and supplies I intend to keep. I've also started going through one of my downstairs cupboards and sorting the books and magazines that were in there. Which ones are true to my vision, which ones will make some thrift store shopper squeal with delight... that style of thing.

I think I've managed to get something stuck in each of my two vacuum cleaners and will have to have my husband bring in some of the tools from his work truck to dissect them and remove the offending chunks of whatever it is. I'm not looking forward to that. I know for a fact I sucked up some spider egg sacks. <erp> Stupid arachnophobia!

I had some things sitting in my basement for ages waiting to be laundered, but since they aren't things I use frequently, I always did the more necessary items first. I got all of it done! The only thing left is the current laundry and a sleeping bag that had been packed away in my cupboard. I even wore a pair of silk pajamas I purchased months ago to bed last night. I got them at a thrift store in the Halloween department, and they've just been sitting down there waiting for the delicate cycle. Thrifty hint: Always wash thrift store clothes before wearing. I may wash my stuff before it goes to charity, but not everyone does. <shudder>

I now have four more boxes of stuff for charity and one that's about half-way full. I can't begin to tell you how awesome it feels to get rid of this stuff. I guess I'll have to admit that I am some sort of hoarder. Luckily, I found a doctor who finally gave me a proper diagnosis (ADD) and the right medication. I had to do an awful lot of calling around and our insurance blows when it comes to mental health treatment. Not to get on a soapbox, but if we would spend more time and money on mental health issues, we wouldn't have things like the Colorado Theater shooting. That's my humble opinion.

But back to the studio...

I am nervous about really digging into my stuff. Partially because of the spiders, but mostly because I look at some of the stuff and wonder what I was thinking. Then I get upset with myself for spending the money on something I never used, am never going to use, and will be getting rid of momentarily. Then I get upset at myself for wasting so much time and energy on the stuff I never did/will never do. Then I get all sentimental about things. It's no wonder people who hoard don't want to get rid of their stuff. It's emotional. It's depressing. At times it's even gut-wrenching (and I'm not just talking about the spiders). It's not a very comfortable place to be. Well, not while you're doing it. I have to remind myself that I'm finding my authenticity. I go downstairs and look at how far I've come, and I'm really proud of what I've accomplished already. If I took a picture of it the way it is now, I'm sure there are those of you who would say, "Um, that's the before picture, right?" Hey, I had a lot of crap. I didn't take any before pictures. But I have posted the pics of my loads of stuff going to charity and that should give you a pretty good idea of what the "before" was like. Some of that came from the garage, but still. Lots o' stuff! That way, when I get around to posting the after pics, you can be all impressed. 

I sometimes have to stop going through everything to catch my breath. I sometimes feel like I'm on the verge of crying. I haven't broken down, yet. I'm sure at some point I will. I've gotten very sad about a few things, but haven't been brought to tears over them. A couple of things I found in the garage were close. Like the bio in the program I found from the last show I did in my hometown before leaving for New York City "to make it on Broadway." Or the pictures of little girls in my "Someday" folder. Yeah, that tripped up my depression for a couple of days. I didn't do anything for fear of finding more so-called "failures". On the other hand, I found things like this:

Yep, that's me in the middle with the stellar horns!

It's one of the things that I found that remind me of who I really am. A performer who's also really good at costuming. Not only did I portray Titania, but I also designed and single-handedly built all of the costumes for this production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The director had originally called me to just do the costumes but at the time, I really wanted to focus on my acting. When the actress playing Titania couldn't do the show, he called me back and asked if I'd do both. Obviously, I did. I'm really proud of that head piece and all the costumes I did for that show. The kids in the show (there were only 3 adults in the cast, 4 if you could the 18 year old high schooler) were really great, even if they did underestimate themselves and their ability to do Shakespeare. I made sure they got over that in a hurry.

I do love theatre. I love spectacle. I love history and fashion. I love fabric. I love designing. I love fantasy. Now, I'm trying to make that fantasy a reality. I'm not sure how that's going to happen, but I know it will.

Kiss my tuchas, spiders!

In yesterday's post I mentioned vacuuming up the spider webs in the basement as I clean up and make room for my new sewing studio. This is not a pleasant thing for most people, but I'm arachnophobic, so it was kind of a big deal. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to empty the canister when it got full. Well, I managed to get the vacuum canister emptied all by my big self without vomiting or so much as a dry heave. I got a little lump in my throat, but I did it. For those of you who understand the psychology of phobias, you should be very proud of me. Just sayin'.

Yesterday afternoon I started to panic as I looked around my would-be studio. I've nearly gotten to the point where I need to start making piles of the things I want to keep. The whole organizing thing. I start off thinking like this:

Tools

Supplies

Fabric

Reference materials.

Then my head starts spinning with all of the subcategories and subcategories of the subcategories...

Tools:

 - for cutting

 - for measuring 

 - for quilting

 - <sigh> cutting for quilting

 - cutting for garments

 - measuring for quilting

 - measuring for garments

 - for tailoring

     - for marking

but I need to mark for quilting, too, and that's a different pile of tools...

 <son of a...>

...aaaand my brain shuts down. That and I don't have a great place to set up the space I'll need for doing all this organizing.

So, I called mom. Sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I can call mom and the conversation will spin off into an idea. I had been worried about using a table we have that we take camping with us. We're heading out again this weekend and I didn't want to take over the table. Then I remembered that one of the tables I have downstairs is even smaller than the one in the camper. I could set up the camping table, transfer the stuff from the smaller table, and we could take the smaller table with us. We only use it for setting up our Foreman grill. So that's my new plan of attack. It's a start, anyway.

<sigh... of relief>

I got the big table downstairs but needed to clear off some more of the floor and do some more vacuuming. I sucked up a big brown spider. <shudder> But I found my missing yoga toes (I had lost one and had been alternating feet) and now that I'm in a show which requires me to be barefoot and agile, I'm glad I found it. Seriously, that was pretty exciting for me. I have no idea why it was down by the laundry. I must've scooped it up with some clothes I took down to be washed. 

In my paper journal yesterday, I got pretty excited about the basement. I started envisioning what it would be like to have a real work area down there with a proper table for laying out fabric and cutting patterns so I wouldn't have to do it on the floor any more. Storage that is actually organized so I can find things and it all makes sense. I'm good at envisioning organized places, but putting into reality and then keeping it there is the hard part for me (see above). However, if this is going to be a home business, perhaps it'll be easier. When I worked at the fabric store, it drove me nuts if things were put away in the wrong place. I was always reorganizing things that had been just stuck any old where. I enjoyed it, actually. I took pride in it. Then I'd come home and completely shut down. Honestly, I think it's my medication that's helping me. I know it doesn't work for everyone, and I really put it off and made excuses for myself, but I haven't been this motivated in... ever, really. Plus I have the diagnosis, so it helps knowing that I can actually do something about it and it's not entirely my fault. I'm not stupid and lazy. I've just got some farkachte synaptic signals.

I forgot to mention in yesterday's post that I did a burn test on some fabric I had gotten at the thrift store. It's a cute brown and ivory gingham and I thought perhaps I could use it for the backing to the Grandma's Flower Garden baby quilt. I just wasn't sure if it was polyester, rayon... It was hard to tell, but, since the quilt top is 100% cotton, it'd have to be a (mostly) natural fiber to use it. Turns out it's acrylic, probably Orlan. Yeah, can't use it. The cotton will continue to shrink a little for a few more washings and the acrylic isn't going to shrink at all. That will make for some unattractive bubbling in the quilting, so it's out. Oh, well.

I went on line and downloaded a fiber burn test chart.

This one is from Ditsy Prints.

I cut a small swatch from the fold line of the cut edge, held it in a tweezers over the sink and lit the bugger on fire. It was really easy to do. Since I do like to shop at thrift stores, this will be a handy skill to have. You could even do it for clothes if the tags have been removed. That is, if there's a bit of seam allowance you can clip out. Then you'll know how to wash it. There's your thrifty hint for the day!

I also forgot to mention that on our drive home from the air show, I completed 5 more hexagon flowers and started a 6th. I now have 21 complete flowers for my niece's baby's quilt. So I laid them out to see if I need/want more and to sort of figure out how many more I would need. If I but a path of single hexagons between the flowers, I would have a crib sized quilt right now. But I'd really like to make it a throw so it'll last longer as she grows. 

Well, I need to get back downstairs. If you've been feeling stuck in your own studio or organizing your stuff, I hope this will be some inspiration for you to know that you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. Yes, folks, it can be done!

In the dungeons...

So now that I've returned from the Oshkosh Air Show trip, I've headed back down to the basement to continue cleaning the "shop". I have two more boxes and half a grocery bag ready for the thrift store. I also found a pair of shorts I'd been looking for. Imagine that. The last day of July and I finally find them.

My neck and shoulders are less than thrilled with me at the moment, since I spent the last, oh, 20 minutes or so vacuuming the cobwebs in my laundry area. This is actually quite an accomplishment for me, arachnophobe that I am. I managed to do it without dry heaving once! That never happens. I can't put the hose back in the vac, though, because it's got webs on it. I'm also pretty sure I'll have to have my husband empty the canister. Oops! Almost gagged there. Sorry.

If I'm going to really make a home business of this sewing thing, I'm going to need a place I want to be in to work. Seeing my progress is more exciting than I thought it would be. I had always been afraid to get rid of the stuff from failed attempts at projects. Stubbornness, I'm sure. I felt like I was throwing away my ideas and betraying my creativity. Therefore, betraying myself. Now I'm seeing it as being as true to myself as possible and finding my authenticity. Chucking out the stuff I don't love. There is somebody out there who can use it, but it's not me. I'm practically rewiring my brain. I'm hoping that this is my new medication working on my brain chemistry and not some fluke. This is the deepest purge I think I've ever done in my life.

The problem is, I have so many ideas rumbling around in my head. I see a stick on the ground and think, "Oh, wouldn't this be a cool cane?" But I really shouldn't bring it home. Or I see a sweater and think, "Yay! It's wool. I can felt this into a pair of mittens." Yeah, I could, but I discovered that I really hate felting. A lot. On the other hand, I could sew it into a skirt or pillow. But I'm doing my best to be really picky about what I'm keeping. If I don't like the colors or the pattern, it's out. So there you have it. Progress.

I never thought I'd get into quilting, but I really do enjoy it. I still want to create clothes. But, for both of these endeavors, I'm going to need more space than what I currently have. I can get this space, simply by getting rid of all this stuff I've accumulated. I'm not sure what I thought I was missing or what I thought I was going to do with all that stuff. What sort of void I thought I was filling. Perhaps I was only looking for something I thought I could "sell", but it wasn't really what I personally liked. 

My husband is one of those people who is fortunate to have a job he really enjoys. He's also a fantastic salesman. He's good at making money but doesn't understand the idea of needing to do something you love whether you make a ton of money at it or not. I think that's why I was trying to find something "commercial" or "popular". But I've never really liked that sort of thing myself. Why would I want to make stuff I hate and sell it to the masses when I could make something I love that is enjoyed by a select few (who are willing to spend good money on it)? That's my point of view, anyway.

I spent most of yesterday on Photoshop and Spoonflower designing fabrics. It's an incredible feeling I get when I do that. I just wish it wasn't so expensive. But it is, and I'll have to save up. I began going through some garment patterns I have that I can adapt for my own designs so that I have an idea of how much fabric I'll need to make them. Then I can put together a budget. Once I have that put together, the fun can really begin! I have over 14 pencil sketches of designs in addition to some things I designed ages ago and there's really no reason why I couldn't make those part of the collection. I still have tons of ideas rumbling around up there, but I'm learning to focus them better. I had been wearing some sort of funky beer goggles before (not really, I don't drink beer. Often). I should have been wearing Speampunk Pilot's Goggles! Ack!

I've also been fighting depression most of my adult life, but only recently was diagnosed with ADD. Now that I've got the medication for that, I'm pretty on top of things. Not all the time, but so much better than I've been in the last 20 years or so. I'm also giving up trying to be what everyone else expects me to be. That's probably what's really making me happy.  It's going to suck, because I'm sure there are people in this world who won't be able to deal with the person I really am. But then there are the people in my life who have my number and I think they've just been waiting for me to emerge. 

Whew!

I've done a lot of work. Here's the proof:

This is the second (and larger) load of stuff going to charity this week. Of course, this is really only a dent in what needs to be done, but it feels pretty amazing to clear this out. My head is feeling clearer already.

I know it's easy for some people. Some people don't even "collect" in the first place, so they never need to do this sort of thing. To be honest, I will see an episode of "Hoarders" and think, well, I'm not that bad. But do I really want to get that bad? Hells to the no.

I'll admit, there have been a few things I've come across as I'm working that spark my imagination. I've made some very clear guidelines for myself regarding what I'll keep, and so far that has been working out all right. I'm sure my husband won't see the method to my madness just yet, but it'll become clearer as I go along. 

I could really do without the spiders, though. <shudder>

Smooth as a baby's...

I love my friend, Angela. She's an actress I've worked with and she's also an aesthetician. She just ripped the hair out of my face. She's good at it, and she really enjoys the work. She's very inspirational to me. She and I have a lot on common. I have the fibromyalgia, she has RA. We both love being on stage, but both need something else to support ourselves. We both want to really enjoy that "other" thing we do, whatever it may be. She really enjoys working with people's skin to make it beautiful. I like to put beautiful clothes on their skin. Angela is one of those people I talked about the other day for whom I would do just about anything. Nothing illegal, you understand, but if she ever needed blood or a kidney and I was a match, I'd do it. If you're in the Twin Cities and you need your chin waxed or your brows shaped or a nice, deep facial cleansing, go see Angela Walberg. I'll put you in touch with her. Seriously.

Okay, now onto the home front. Going through all my stuff has been looming over me for... years. I'm not even kidding. Over the last couple of weeks I've gone through so much stuff, and I'm not even halfway there yet! I'm on medication, I'll freely admit that. Most creative people are or should be, frankly. I've only been on the new stuff for 5 weeks and I've accomplished more in those 5 weeks than I have in the last 5 years. Longer, even. I still had a few maternity clothes in the garage (my youngest son is 6). I've just been avoiding it. I've now been through a dozen or more boxes (several loads of laundry) and not only did I take over all that stuff to charity last Saturday, but I now have 6 more grocery bags and a storage basket of clothes (mostly the boys' baby things, but some of mine, too), toys, and brick-a-brack to take over to the thrift store.

Everyone needs to purge now and then. This is probably the biggest purge I've ever done in my life. I have to say, it feels pretty damn good. I have my current projects sitting on the sidelines waiting patiently for me to get through this. Though I do have my hand sewing with the hexagons by my recliner and pick that up during the evening news. My Christmas tree blocks are under way, but I'm not feeling any great pressure to do it. I'm happy knowing that, once I get this big purge out of the way, not only will I be able to pick up where I left off on those projects, but I'll have more room, better organization, and more freedom. Less chaos. That's the real goal, right there. 

Not only that, but if I aim to proceed with designing my clothing line, I'm going to need that space. Last weekend I made 14 sketches, I figured out which type of fabric the pieces should be, but I have yet to figure out how much total fabric I'll need. I'll finish this purging business first. It needs to happen before my mind can be clear enough to focus on a clothing line. Also, clearing up my sewing space will show my husband that I'm pretty darned serious about pursuing the dream. More serious that I've probably ever been about anything.

Speaking of designing, I have two new collections now available on Spoonflower. Jewel Box, http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/3982 which is, as the name suggests, full of jewel inspired designs and photos,  and Tropical_10, http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/17621, which is all designs that were inspired by my husband's love of Hawaiian shirts and this year being our 10th anniversary. The photos used were taken during some of our vacations over the years.

Getting ready for a BIG change!

I've been going through my stuff. I have a lot of stuff. I've come to the conclusion that what I really want to do is make quilts and clothes. However, I have all this... stuff. Fabric I'll probably never use. Seed beads that I KNOW I'll never use. Yarn that is just sitting there next to that knifty knitter I NEVER use. Some of my fabric I feel really attached to, but some of it I look at and think, "Why?"
Really. Why did I buy that? Did I think it would help me make something "commercially acceptable"? Did I actually like it or simply buy it because I thought someone would like to buy something made out of it, but I find it so awful that I can't bring myself to make what I intended to make? I have a feeling that is what I was doing. I know SOMEbody will like it, I just happen to not.
One of the conclusions I've come to over the last couple of weeks is that, if I'm going to make something, if I'm going to really ENJOY it, don't I want to work with things I like? No, I know not everything I make will be everyone's cup o' soup, but if I like it, chances are, I'm not the only person in the world who will. I've been so worried for so many years about what other people are going to like that I haven't been true to myself. I like my tattoos. I like my unnaturally red hair. I like my strange sense of humor. I like bright bold colors. I genuinely like being different. I don't want to say "love". I think that word gets bandied about like so much commercialism. I love my family and my friends, and I would do just about anything for most of them. I love being able to work. But you can love something and not really like it very much. I want to like what I do, not just love the fact that I do it. Does that make sense?
For example, I love being on stage and performing. I love the rehearsal process and meeting new people and sharing time and talent. But I really don't like show biz. I don't like the politics. I know, there'll be politics in everything. I don't like pushing my foot into an agent's door. I don't like... okay, I've witnessed people do really shitty things to other people because maybe they weren't as good or they wanted a part and would do anything to get it. I've seen people toss off a production that I've worked my tail off (along with others) to create and they're the ones who somehow make it in the biz. I've seen people with no measurable talent get into movies and plays because they had the right "look" but can't act their way out of a wet paper bag. And the whole "reality" celebrity thing. I can't take it. I just want to create stuff and if people like it they can buy it and I just want to be content in my life. I haven't been that. Ever. I think I'm finally figuring out which path I should've been on. I'm going to take a li'l detour. Any projects I'm obligated to do in the next year, I'll keep my commitment to them. After that... I don't know. I just don't know. I'm going to spend some time creating and designing and see how that goes.
I do have an etsy shop, tequila_diamonds, of course. I'm going to shill a few of these supplies I'm no longer using. It'll be a real clearance sale. I'm going to clear out. I'll let you know how that goes... ;-)

Busy, busy!

I'm so stoked about my latest venture. Sooooo Stoked!
I really get in the zone when I'm designing fabric. It's about as close to a runner's high as I'll ever get. I'm not a great runner (to be honest, I'm more of a walker/trotter), but when I'm at my computer with the colors and the shapes, the patterns and the possibilities.... man! That is a high.
I spent part of last night gathering my thoughts about how I'm going to present this to my husband. He's probably going to need a fair amount of convincing, but I figure, if I really have my poop in a group, he might take it seriously. That's the hope, anyway.
I've made my lists of how I want to proceed, and I checked in with mom this morning so I'm not losing momentum. I've added more color options to the collection and I've scrapped the ones that stink. I adjusted a few to be more on trend with the colors I found on the projected trends for the next couple of years and changed the scale on a few of them to have more options. I was inspired by a blouse I saw Kyra Sedgwick wearing on a magazine cover, to really bring the scale down to a tiny size. Wouldn't it be killer if she wore MY designs on the cover of a magazine?
I'm going to go work on the garment designs now. Wheee!

PS - I got the swatches back for the Harriet Collection and the pink did NOT turn out. I'm going back to recolor them, however, some of the designs were fine and they are now available for purchase on http://www.spoonflower.com/collections/17669

Spinning Wheel...

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past week or so, mostly because I haven't been able to accomplish too much with this FMS flare up that is just being stubborn. I've also done a fair bit of designing and "soul" searching. I've come up with a plan and I'm going to try to put those plans into action. I don't want to say too much, but it could mean a fabulous change in my life. 

Today I had a really great conversation with my mom about my creative arts, and how to parlay them into a career that I will love and will give me, not only a sense of purpose, but security, as well. My husband plans on retiring in about 3 years and I've been trying to figure out how I'll be picking up the slack. I know he won't completely stop working and his retirement plan is quite good, but I've had a career-shaped hole in my heart for a while. I've been really good at finding obstacles to my plans over the years. Of course, that's mainly because I try to do everything by myself. My mom and I put our heads together this morning during our regular phone session and came up with a few ideas and connections I have that would make this project seem not so out of reach. Now, I just have to sell my husband on the idea.

I have to say that reading Kaffe Fassett's "Quilts in Sweden" was partially responsible for this little kernel of inspiration. Fassett not only designs fabric and quilts, but also yarns and needlework. So, along with my quilting and the fabric I have on Spoonflower.com, I'm going to start working on a line of clothing and accessories using my own fabric designs. I looked at some fashion trend reports, and what I've got in mind for my designs is right on target for the colors and prints they're forecasting all the way into 2014. That was terribly exciting for me to see. Usually I come up with an idea and a week later it's being released by someone who had been putting those ideas into action for the last year or so. This time, I'm right on trend with what the future is bringing. I really don't believe in fate or signs, but I'm sure those that do would tell me that this is a door from which someone is calling me to enter. So, I'm being called. So, sue me. (No, don't. I haven't got any money!)

I'm going to continue with this blog, though it may now include things not related to quilting. On the other hand, designing quilts is a decent sized part of what I'm envisioning doing, so for the quilting fans out there, never fear. I'm just adding some other stuff to that which I do. Because I'm just not busy enough. (Yeah. That was, indeed, sarcasm.)

I have two, possibly three theatrical productions coming up in the following year. I intend to keep those commitments. I also want to go back to school, one class at a time, since that's what we can afford at the moment. I'm prepping to sign up for a math class <shudder> as I write this. I want to get my degree somehow. This will help me with my plans. I also want to see if I can get into a pattern making class. I know how to take an existing pattern and create what I need. I can also cut fabric without a pattern and create what I need, but making a pattern from scratch is something I have NO idea how to do, particularly if it's very detailed.

I'm ready for a change. I have been for quite a while, I just didn't know what to change, exactly, and I've spent a lot of time and energy on what was probably not the right path for me. I've been pushing back this other idea because, I don't know, maybe I thought I couldn't or that no one would like it. I'm also very aware of my age. I keep telling myself I'm not good enough. But I am. And, gosh darn it, people like me. And they like what I do. I'm going to listen to them for awhile instead of just listening to my inner critic (who is really loud and obnoxious, by the way). I'm also going to ask for help. I've never wanted to ask for help. I'm afraid people will think that's the only reason I want them around. But frankly, I wouldn't want you around if I didn't genuinely like you. I don't want to surround myself with people I can't stand simply because of how many connections they have, or money, or whatever. If you're an asshole, I don't want to work with you, either. That's something I just have to get over. I hate the idea of imposing myself on someone. I cringe at the thought. So, if you happen to be someone I ask, know that it's because you rock. You rock a lot.

Surviving the Scourge...

For whatever reason, the past several days have been nothing but fibromyalgia pain-filled misery. Undaunted, I've tried to make progress, but I've not accomplished too terribly much.
Just before that, however, I managed to get 5 more flowers done for my niece's baby's blanket and I sorted through several boxes of old stuff that has been out in the garage for years. Found some great stuff and some stuff that was kind of depressing, but, that's how it goes when you go through old junk, innit?
I also got on to Spoonflower and made some more fabric designs. It's one of the few artistic things I can do that doesn't cause too much pain or take up too much energy. I'm going to be going through my designs soon and discontinuing a few, so if anybody wants some, now's the time to get it. Unfortunately, Spoonflower doesn't have "sales". Well, that I'm aware of. I think I've found a mini project!
Interestingly the designs I worked on yesterday were ones I imagined for garments, instead of quilting. Not that they couldn't be used for quilting, but I could envision some really great clothes out of the stuff I did yesterday. I'm not sure if those will actually go up for sale or if I'll dare to make a clothing line out of them. It is something to consider.... hmmmm....
Here are three of the new flowers I did last week.

I'm trying to make sure to use combinations of the old and new fabric so I don't have this set of flowers here, that set there... I wonder if we can change the block name to Auntie's Flower Garden? I have 7 step-grandchildren and one great-step-grandchild, but I'm not really a grandmother yet. I know, I know. It's a Grandmother's Flower Garden.
Well, let's see what the next week brings. Hopefully today will mark the end, or the beginning of the end of this bloody fibro flare up, and I'll get something done! I'm missing my Summer, dammit!

Grandmother's Flower Garden

I want to post some "in progress" pics of the hexagons I'm prepping for the hand-sewn Grandmother's Flower Garden quilt I'm making, using a technique known as English Paper Piecing, for my youngest niece's baby, due this November.
I've posted some completed "flowers" in previous posts, but here I'm going to show how I prepare the hexagons for hand piecing,

I used a precut piece of fabric from a purchased kit to make a cardboard template (using the cardboard from inside a fat quarter package). From that, I used my rotary cutter to make hexagons from the additional fabric. I used freezer paper for the piecing shapes. It gives body to the fabric as you're sewing. I drew hexagons onto the freezer paper using a sharpie and the inside of one of my nesting hexagon templates. I basically made a honeycomb pattern on the freezer paper then cut them out. At the edge of the paper were half hexes, and I put them together and used those as well.
Then, I pressed the paper shapes to the wrong sides of the fabric hexes. Freezer paper has a shiny side with a thin layer of wax (much thinner than waxed paper, which I don't recommend using - the wax is too thick and the paper is to thin), which will temporarily adhere to the fabric when ironed on at medium heat. If you don't get it quite lined up, you can peel it off and try again. The size of the paper shapes I made leave a little more than the usual 1/4 inch seam allowance, but I was using what I've got handy to make it go a bit quicker.
Once I have all the paper attached via iron, I fold the seam allowances down, using the paper as a guide. I then baste them, going through the paper. This will give me the creased edge to work with as I'm hand sewing. Once the entire quilt top is assembled, I'll remove the basting and the paper, another advantage of the freezer paper and it's temporary stick-um.
A thrifty hint: many second hand stores have craft sections where you can find spools of thread. Now, old thread can be weak and break, and there's no reliable method of testing the age of thread. However, for doing a little hand basting, like I'm doing here, it's fine. Just take off the outer, dusty layer, if necessary and use the rest. I often put my thread ends outside for the birds to use in their nests. Finches seem to like to use it. I just make sure it's in a spot where other animals aren't going to try to eat it. I have a flower pot that works nicely for this.